When I wrote Broken Vessels (Amazing Grace), I quoted one of my best friends who said, “We all need guidance.” Let me explain why we should watch what we think about and how it leads to our destiny.

From Thoughts to Destiny

Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words.

I was driving home one night with a friend. It was already past midnight and the traffic was horrible. In one intersection alone, we were stuck almost an hour. Approaching the intersection, my friend noticed a traffic aide sitting on the sidewalk.

He started criticizing and saying how lazy the traffic aide was and kept on cursing.

It would be days later when I met with the same friend and talked about the traffic aide. I said, “Perhaps the traffic aide had been working on the street for extended hours and he needed to take a break. Even if he tried to, there wasn’t anything he could do at that point. We were at a standstill.”

Those are two contrasting perspectives. We either see the positive or the negative. And we either know enough to form an accurate opinion or make a premature assumption.

Keep your words positive, because your words become your behavior.

A couple of decades ago, an incident occurred that caused a strain in the relationship between me and my sister.

One night, my father told me to wait for a customer who was coming to our house to pick up several boxes of ceramic tiles.

When the doorbell rang, I asked our maid who it was. She said it was food delivery.

Ten minutes later, my sister barged into my bedroom and screamed at me. She told me I was not helping my father load the boxes of ceramic tiles in the customer’s van.

I ran downstairs and saw my father huffing and puffing. So I told him I would take over and load everything.

Like my sister, he was angry with me and told me to leave him alone.

I apologized and tried to explain my side but he refuses to listen.

Defeated, I returned to my bedroom where my sister started firing a machine gun with her mouth.

They made the wrong assumption and worse, the words that came out of their mouth were hateful. It was painful to listen to.

Friends, as you can see, our thoughts dictate the words that come out of our mouth. If we are to react based on the wrong assumptions, then we may regret what we say someday.

Keep your behavior positive, because your behavior becomes your habits.

I am pretty sure you will agree with me on this. Through the years, there have been different people who offended us, right?

There was this kid in school who did a good job of offending me again and again. One day, while the class was ongoing, I couldn’t take it anymore.

Sitting in front of me, my frustration turned to anger. So I stood up and started punching him.

Sure, punching and any form of violence were wrong. And yes, there were better ways to handle things. But I had my reason. He offended me.

That was a moment when I completely fucked up. Sometimes, acting on raw emotion gets us in trouble.

Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values.

The way we think affects the words coming out of our mouths and behavior. Unless we take control, it becomes a cycle that forms the habit that defines who we are.

I went through a phase when I thought I was in a negative situation. And I found myself sinking in quicksand, where all I could think about were the negativities.

For several years, negative thoughts leading to questionable behavior became my norm.

Keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny.

The choices and actions we took determine our behavior. Are we doing the right thing? Have we done enough of the right thing? Are we hurting other people?

As much as you and I don’t want to live the way other people want us to, we still need to live within a certain set of rules and values.

I have noticed that even those who assert that everything is predestined and that we can change nothing about it still look both ways before they cross the street – Stephen Hawking

Fate and destiny are not a certainty. It is what we do today that determines our tomorrow.

What and who we are today is the result of the choices we made in the past.

We Make Our Destiny

If today is the result of the past, then we should pay attention to how we think today.

Alison Ledgerwood made a strong case of how people tends to tilt towards the negative. As such, it is important for us to control our way of thinking because that’s where it begins.

How we want our destiny to be, depends on us. If we want a better life, then it begins with positive thoughts.