Breakups are a fact of life, and for pretty much everyone, they are hard to handle. Bringing another person into your life is a big show of trust, and having them break that trust by deciding that they don’t want to be there anymore can hurt more than seems entirely necessary, but once it’s happened it’s happened.
The aftermath of this can decide how long these negative emotions hang around for, how much they permanently affect you, and how you interact with your brand new ex-partner from here on out. To help you understand this time period, and the best course of action within it, we have put together a guide to handling the first two weeks after a breakup.
It can be tempting to spend the immediate aftermath wallowing in self-pity, but this isn’t the way to handle a blow to your confidence. A person you felt strongly about has left, you haven’t lost a limb or your ability to enjoy yourself out in the world, so staying busy in the weeks after a breakup is a key thing. It’s a way to constantly remind yourself that you didn’t rely on them to have fun and enjoy day-to-day life, and it helps you look forward to things that aren’t related to them.
Thinking of a relationship as the end of something might technically be accurate, but thinking of it as the beginning of the next step of your life is more likely to make you feel better. When dealing with a divorce lawyer in Melbourne, having things to look forward to after those difficult meetings can make all the difference in the world, so ensure that you follow up any legal matters with something you enjoy.
Interact with People
Keeping busy with work and running errands might keep your body busy well enough, but ensuring that your mind is occupied is just as important, and spending time with other people is the best way to occupy your mind. None of the people you spend time with will be your ex, and this is a good thing.
Even if you miss them, you will be enjoying the company of other people and moving on with your life slowly. Your friends and family are invaluable at these times, and isolating yourself from them will only make you feel worse. Always remember that it’s ok to spend time with them when you aren’t feeling upbeat and happy, they will take care of you in those times because you are important to them.
Making things is a good way to express your emotions, and even if you aren’t a creative person by nature, any attempt to physically express your feelings is good for your mental state. Buy some paints and a blank canvas and aim for an abstract expression of your feelings, or pick up a musical instrument and start learning. Many people believe that the best art comes from heartbreak, and the only way you’ll find out how you create is to pick an emotion and create with it.
Don’t Talk With Them
This is very, very important. You cannot talk to your ex in the weeks and months after a breakup unless it’s absolutely necessary, such as if you live together and are organising for one of you to move out. Once you have no reason to be in contact with them anymore, delete their phone number and remove them from your social media.
They won’t ever be the version of them you want to talk to, and talking with them as they are will only worsen your mental state and make you feel worse for longer. This doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with them in the future, it just means you need time to separate yourself from them emotionally and mentally.
Social Media Blackout
Social media gives us an exaggerated view into other people’s lives, and this can be fun and interesting when you’re in a healthy, happy mindset. However, when you’re feeling lonely and miserable, it’s a terrible thing to bear witness to.
Social media apps like Instagram and Facebook will make it seem like your friends are all out and about without you, and can add a strong contrast to your personal emotions. Give yourself 30 days to be away from social media and you’ll notice a marked improvement to your mental state when you return.
The only thing that can make a breakup better is time, but these tips can help make that time more bearable for you. Keep your chin up and keep yourself busy, and know that it will all be ok in the end.