In this day and age when there are more people connected to social media, it’s both fun and productive, or it could add to the stress for those who have personal problems.
I use social media (Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Twitter and Instagram) primarily for two reasons: (1) networking (as in meeting new people) and cultivating relationships; (2) a means for me to post quotes, business and health related information, and blog posts.
It has its downside too. Like anyone else, there are personal problems I am going through and all I could do is take on it head on. At times, I would see someone else’s post and could not help but make comparisons. When I do, stress level increases and focusing on what I need to do becomes an ordeal.
Each one of you has your own life to live and you have your own reasons that influenced why you are doing certain things this way or that way.
Regardless of whatever it is that is causing you difficulties, I’d like to share some of the things I have learned.
For the purpose of this post, I refer to personal problems as being related to another person or people.
Whenever there are personal problems – family, relative, friend, spouse or relationship, it is how we feel that makes it more difficult and often painful. What I try to keep in mind is this:
Emotion cannot be controlled, but it can be managed.
Understanding Where the Other Is Coming From
The battle you are going through is not fueled by the words or actions of others; it is fueled by the mind that gives it importance. – Shannon L. Adler
It is in our nature to wash our hands from being accountable. As much as I’d like to think that my personal problems were a result of someone else’s fault, I learned to understand where that person is coming from. Instead of assigning blame, it is better to take responsibility.
Having a higher form of understanding – to understand where the other person is coming from – allowed me to manage my emotion and see things from different perspectives.
Instead of focusing on specific wrongdoing done against me, whether it is factual or perceived, I start to see the root cause.
Focusing on individual acts of wrongdoing is counterproductive and results in endless bickering. There is a root cause and it has to be found.
I have learned to ask this question too ever since I got started on personal development:
“Is what I am doing addressing the root cause or adding to my problems?”
At some point in our lives, we will have to be responsible for people who depend on us – besides other people, we need to be responsible for ourselves.
Whatever the personal problems are, more often than not, it is people who created it. Refusing to tackle the root cause is not taking responsibility and nothing good comes out of this.
Final Thoughts on Personal Problems
People often cause personal problems – it could be others or in most cases, it’s us.
Assigning blame does not help the situation. It could make things worse than it already is. Instead of focusing on specific issues, perhaps there is a root cause I should be wary of. Unless I fix the root cause, things could get out of hand.
Emotion clouds judgment and takes away focus from the solution. Hence it is important for me to have a true understanding of what is causing the problem. Being able to manage my emotion is my best hope of arriving at a peaceful and acceptable solution.
Friends, how do you manage your emotion when it comes to dealing with personal problems?