Let’s work on turning crab mentality to grab mentality.
A couple of decades ago, on a business trip to a Southern Luzon province, I went to a restaurant owned by a friend. As soon as the owner saw me, he waved at me to come over.
After exchanging greetings, he points to a small bucket filled with live crabs. “Observe them,” he said.
I watched the crabs trying to pick one and thinking of several ways to have the cook prepare the dish for me.
My friend puts his arm on my shoulder and said, “Look at what they are doing.”
After a moment of puzzlement, I realized what the crabs were doing. “The crabs are pulling each other down,” I blurted.
“And that is why we have a term called crab mentality,” my friend said.
Negative people and they could be family or friends, surrounds you.
Instead of being supportive, they tend to pull you down. Instead of providing inspiration, they steal your dreams.
Over the last couple of years, I have had the opportunity to listen to my teammates. It turns out that the top earners had to go through toxic people.
Here’s the thing about people with crab mentality. They don’t stop when you are chasing dreams. But once you achieve success, you’d think they’d stop, but no.
They stop only when they receive the benefit of your success. Even so, it’s not guaranteed.
“It pains me to see the people you are trying to help,” my XTRM 1-11 mentor would say, “are the same people stopping you from doing the things you need to do to help them.”
How does it feel when the people you care for are the ones telling you that you will fail?
You may live on land, but crabs surround you – people with crab mentality that is.
How to Avoid Crab Mentality?
So how do you deal with toxic people?
It took time but I finally found my life purpose, and that led to a strong self-belief. Find yours and that belief will ward off the toxicity.
2. Accept the Given
It seems to me that in every family, there are people who are supportive of you. Likewise, there are those who will bring you down.
Accept each person for who they are. You have a choice dwelling on the negativity, or staying positive and upbeat.
3. Find the Right People
It’s not enough that you surround yourself with positive people. They also need to be the right people.
The best people to be with are the ones who share the same passion as you doing the same things. They are the ones who will help and keep inspiring you.
From Crab to Grab Mentality
It’s difficult to manage emotion, especially when dealing with family issues. Stop dwelling on the negativities and self-pity.
Toxic people with pull you down and they will not stop.
Are you allowing negativities to stop you from succeeding in what you are doing?
When asked what it means to be a part of XTRM 1-11, a teammate of mine said:
With us, it is Grab mentality. When one of us is having a difficulty and falls down, we grab them up so they can stand and run again. We grab every opportunity to help each other.
One more thing. How about you? Are you sure you are not one of the toxic people in other people’s life?