Note: The 12 disgusting things dads do are all my personal experience. I thought it is fitting to write something personal as the first post in this category.
One afternoon on a slow day, I was in the dining room rinsing plates before putting them in the dishwasher. “PAPA,” my then 4-year old son screamed. As quick as I could, I dropped everything and ran across the hallway to the master bedroom. “PAPA,” my little boy called out to me.
I entered the bathroom to see my bundle of joy sitting on the toilet grinning at me. So, I pulled out a small chair and sat down in front of him and asked, “Yes?” He looks at me with this sheepish grin on his face and said, “papa, I’m done.” The little one spoke with the sound of an angel and what was I to do?
I stood up and squatted in front of him so he could lean forward and hold onto my leg. Using the bidet, I sprayed water on his … I suppose you know where I am going to with this. Some of you may think it’s disgusting but trust me, that is nothing compared to what comes next.
As disgusting as some things are, parents do it because of love. Hence dads like me have had my fair share of doing disgusting things. The following video is my youngest son and why I think he is irresistible.
I thought of doing this post while I was looking at photos I took of my kids, back when we were together. To be honest, it’s not easy for me to write this with so many unresolved issues and unknowns in the future. But hey, one dad’s experience could be someone else’s learning.
12 Disgusting Things Dads Do
As the header implies, these are the disgusting things dads do, or to be more clear, what I have done. I am pretty sure there are a lot of other things that are gross.
One thing I must say, though, is that far more moms do disgusting things than dads. For this reason, moms all over the world need more than their fair share of appreciation. And I mean this from the bottom of my heart because, despite our differences, my ex-wife is a fantastic mom.
So, how am I going to do this? Do I write all the disgusting things in random? Okay, I got it. Let’s make it more difficult for me by sorting them from the least awful to the worst of all.
12. Say Cheese Poop
I promise you that there are more parents who have taken photos of their child’s poop at one time or another. It’s as if it became ingrained in the human DNA. Now what they do with those photos is their business. As for me, I have it here with me all the time on the laptop, and no, I am not showing it to you.
11. Playing Poop-a-Poo
Is it okay to let someone watch you sit down on the throne and let loose? I didn’t think so. But my kiddos, especially the eldest loves to talk. There were countless times that either of us sits and talk while the other let loose. I think it’s fair to say that the smell must have been more horrible for my kid than it was for me.
10. What’s in the Poop?
The little ones get sick from time to time, it’s just unavoidable. And the pediatrician would tell us to observe their poop. The truth is that it was yucky during the first few days of my eldest son. But soon after, looking at their poop became normal and ordinary. It’s the few times when I had to use something, anything, to break the poop to smaller pieces that are gross.
9. Smelling the Fields of Roses Poop
How do you know if there is poop without removing the diaper? If it’s urine, that’s easy because you change the diaper when it’s bulky. But when it comes to poop, one of the practical ways to do that is to smell the diaper. I had to smile at the thought of those times when soon after changing diaper, my kiddo let go of more poop again.
8. No Finger Is Too Big for the Nostril
Let’s have a little honesty here. I am almost certain that within the last twelve months, you have picked your nose with your finger. Have you ever picked anyone else’s nose? In the past, there have been times that I spot booger in the nose of my kids and I use my finger to take them out.
7. Spit on Your Hands
It’s fun eating with the kids and fulfilling to feed them back when they were toddlers. Depending on the food, there were times that they would spit out food. It remains a mystery why with a plate and table, they still spit on your hand. And the crazy thing is that I actually offer my hand as soon as I see them about to spit the food.
6. Wiping the Poop
Get everything ready, pull down the diaper, hold both feet with one hand, and use the other to wipe with cotton. I had that routine locked down and while it was gross in the beginning, I got used to it. But when the little ones start to move around more, that’s when I would get poop on my hands. And yes, it’s gross but hey, that is what dads and moms do.
5. Human Napkin
Most of the time, I do love talking to the kids while we are eating. But on some days, and you know how messy kids are when eating, they would wipe their mouth on my shirt or arm. If there is one thing that I find gross, its grease touching my skin. I am grossed out when they do that, but they go on as if nothing happened.
4. Eating Leftover Foods
I think my kids are like most kids, they love eating, but only if it’s their favorite food. But most of the time, there are leftovers, especially vegetables. Their mom ends up eating the leftovers most of the time, and I have had my fills too. Imagine eating food that includes the ones they spit out.
3. Catching Vomit
It could happen anytime and anywhere. And when it does, no matter how prepared you are, kids sometimes vomit without warning. It is during those times that instinct takes over and you try to catch all the vomit with your hand. Of course, it doesn’t work well and I know from experience.
2. Human Urinal and Toilet
I miss the days when I could carry my children. They used to be so light that I could carry them with one hand. As much fun as it was for me, there were times when they pissed or puked on me. It’s not a big deal if we were in the house. But when we happen to be in a public place, oh well.
1. Human Nasal Aspirator
Once you have a baby, a nasal aspirator becomes mandatory. On most days, we use the nasal aspirator to suck out the snot. Back when my kids were infants, there were times when they start crying because of clogged airway. Super dad comes to the rescue by sucking the snot direct from the nose.
The Dirty Secrets Dads Do
Gross and disgusting, but parents do it anyway because of love. So, I have told you the disgusting things I have done, but there’s more. But I suppose 12 is more than enough so how about I tell you the dirty secrets dads, or parents for that matter, do?
On second thought, maybe not. Some things are better left unsaid. If you have a child, then you should have a fair idea of what I am talking about here.
Disgusting Is Not Gross
Like I said, parents love their kids. And what is disgusting, parents do it anyway because of unconditional love. I can’t speak for others, but I am sure most parents agree that once they get into it, it’s not gross.
It’s nothing different from what I had been preaching in other posts. Think of the disgusting things as comfort zones. The moment you start doing these things is like stepping out of the box. Do you know what I always say about that?What was once outside your comfort zone soon becomes your new comfort zone. Click To Tweet
In other words, you get used to the disgusting things you do soon enough that it becomes ordinary.Parents do disgusting and gross things for their child because of unconditional love. Click To Tweet
I have shared the disgusting things I have done for my kids. How about you? In the comments section, please share your experience. And if you do not have a child, it’s time to know what you might be getting into in the future.